currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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