Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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