i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Sponge bath it is.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
