you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
