I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
