wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
