it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Success! We fucked roommates!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
