I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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