have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
