I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
