I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
