well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize