the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
that's an acceptable place to lick
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
