...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
