I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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