she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
