Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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