I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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