I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
