brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
