benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
