I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
