"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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