Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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