I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
