Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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