so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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