I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
