I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
