Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize