Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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