Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
