dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Randomize
