Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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