she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
