It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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