Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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