Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
