Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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