It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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