What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
