I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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