I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize