why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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