I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I looked at my own cervix.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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