I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
