dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize