and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
