Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
