I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
