When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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