He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
