just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
