And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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