I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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