Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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