oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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