i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
