at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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