i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She's the barista slut.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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