you guys were way drunker than both of me
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
