I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
