Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize