Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
