we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
