I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
