I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
