Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
