Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
